That Time Charles Barkley Played Godzilla One-on-One

Godzilla vs. Barkley #1
Script: Mike Baron
Plot: Alan Smithee
Pencils: Jeff Butler
Inks: Keith Aiken
Letters: Steve Dutro
Colors: James Sinclair
Cover Painting: Dave Dorman
Book Design: Scott Tice
Editor: Edward Martin III
Released: Dec. 21, 1993

Three years before Michael Jordan laced up his high-tops to save Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes from a life of servitude at an alien theme park in 1996's “Space Jam,” Charles Barkley went one-on-one against another pop culture icon: Godzilla.

But if you only know the 1993 Nike commercial, you don't know the whole story. Later that year, Dark Horse Comics expanded that 30-second ad to a 24-page comic book.

I've mentioned my affinity for Godzilla and bizarre crossovers before. Throw in my NBA fandom and this was right up my alley. It's probably been 20-plus years since I read it, but the premiere of “Space Jam: A New Legacy” last week was more than enough incentive for me to revisit the issue.

We open off the coast of California, where a ship encounters rough seas that turn out to be a warning sign that – you guessed it – Charles Barkley is swimming nearby.

Whoops, actually, it's Godzilla, who gets top billing on the book after all.

In a rather dark opening for a shoe commercial, the ship is broken in half, sending the crew plunging into the ocean. One of them washes up on the shore of a California beach, where young Matt has been thwarted in his efforts to meet his idol, Charles Barkley, who's filming a commercial on the beach. The King of the Monsters himself soon comes ashore.

Adults are running in terror, the military is scrambled, but Matt knows what to do: take the wish-granting silver dollar his grandpa gave him to ... Charles Barkley?

Not joking this time.

Rather than immediately playing the hero, Barkley is as incredulous as everyone else when Matt pitches his plan. But when the kid refers to him as “Earth's greatest warrior,” it's at least enough to get the boy a ride in Sir Charles' convertible – away from the Big G.

A frustrated Matt challenges the future NBA Hall of Famer to a game of one-on-one to force him to do the right thing and take on Godzilla. Barkley figures what the heck, but when he picks up the magic coin Matt used to flip for the ball, we learn the boy's been playing four-dimensional chess while the Round Mound of Rebound was still setting up his checkers.

The magic coin embiggens Barkley to a height of 300 feet. Recognizing the destruction Godzilla's leaving in his path, Sir Charles challenges him to a game of hoops at a nearby Air Force base.

We've spent several pages establishing how Barkley got big, which doesn't give much time to answer the story's other burning question: How does Godzilla know how to play basketball?

Either way, Godzilla drives to the makeshift hoop using his tail to clear the lane. No stranger to physical play, Barkley responds in kind and the battle erupts across a two-page splash as a crowd that includes Matt, his grandfather and, of course, Jack Nicholson, gathers to watch the showdown.

Before Barkley can score the game point, a frustrated Godzilla melts the ball into slag. This prompts a lecture on sportsmanship from Barkley. Who says he's not a role model?

Barkley sets Godzilla up with a pair of massive Nikes (actually rather understated product placement for a story that grew out of a literal commercial) and a basket in a remote Utah canyon, where he instructs him to practice his game by doing a million layups, thus keeping the big fella out of trouble, for at least a little while.

The art by Jeff Butler is solid, clean comic art. The story is there to justify the unlikely battle, and honestly, it's a little better than I might have expected. The plot credit goes to Alan Smithee, the Hollywood pseudonym for when a director no longer wants their name attached to a film that went awry for reasons beyond their control. I don't know if the folks at Dark Horse did that as a joke or if there was actual acrimony behind the scenes, but this is a comic that is silly, fun and one I'm happy to have in my collection.