#FreeWillyFriday: The Next Generation

 Willy: The Next Generation was simply another case of me looking for more cliched sequel subtitles, not due to my Star Trek fandom.

I guess I'm a fan of Star Trek, but a very casual one. I watched episodes of the original series in syndication, and I vaguely remember the cartoon on Nickelodeon. My stepdad was a fan of the series, and a childhood friend had a Star Trek quiz book, so I had to get it too.

I'm a fan of continuity, even continuities with which I'm not particularly familiar. So Star Trek appealed to me as a massive, ongoing story with many different aspects. As a kid, I don't think I had the bandwidth to dive deeply into it like I had with Marvel and Star Wars, but I enjoyed visiting from time to time.

I watched most of the movies. I read the occasional book, and snapped up more at sales, particularly those written by Peter David and William Shatner. I always thought it would be cool to read Shatner writing Captain Kirk, but I don't think I've gotten around to it yet.

I've read Star Trek comics here and there, primarily the crossovers because I'm a sucker for crossovers. I read a Stark Trek/Planet of the Apes crossover – The Primate Directive! – and I know even less about the latter than the former.

It was a Star Trek movie that taught me one of my most enduring cinematic lessons. Well, it's an enduring lesson about watching movies.

As a teen, I often went to movies with a friend with whom I enjoyed making jokes about what we were watching. Loud jokes. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000, but not as funny and without a willing audience.

We were making our usual wisecracks during Star Trek: Generations – where the original series and Next Generation come together (I love crossovers). Twenty-seven-year-old spoiler warning, but there's a scene where the Enterprise crashes, plowing through a beautiful forested landscape.

After the saucer comes to a stop, there's a beat of silence and a blank, black screen. Fourteen-year-old comedian that I was, I channeled a public service announcement and intoned, in a somber voice, something like, “Every hour, six square miles of rain forest are destroyed.” To me, it was hilarious.

The action resumed and my friend began some sort of patter. I don't remember what it was, and soon, I didn't care.

My eyes were drawn to a tall, leather-and-chain clad shadow, with a long beard that had risen in front of the screen. My friend was oblivious as this figure turned and started walking in our direction. He remained unaware as the titan made his way up the aisle, despite me elbowing him and hissing at him to stop! Be quiet!! SHUT-UP!!!

Finally, the looming specter reached us and...

Continued up the aisle to take its child, or possibly grandchild, to the restroom.

Still, after that, I shut up in movie theaters.