Ravage 2099 #3
“Horror in Hellrock”
Writer: Stan Lee
Penciler: Paul Ryan
Inker: Keith Williams
Letterer: Phil Felix
Colorist: Paul Becton
Editor: Joey Cavalieri
Editor in Chief: Tom DeFalco
Released: Dec. 8, 1992
Time for another irregular installment of reading through the 2099 comic written by Stan Lee himself: Ravage 2099!
When last we saw our upcycling hero, his special lady friend Tiana was getting beamed aboard an Alchemax vessel as part of a plot to lure Ravage to Hellrock, home of the Mutroids and their leader Dethstryk. The prophetic Seeress has warned Dethstryk that the relatively new hero is destined to defeat him, so the villain, ignoring countless lessons from pop culture about trying to avoid destiny, is fast forwarding the conflict.
As issue 3 opens, Ravage's pal Dack is getting blasted by Alchemax thugs, then there's some kind of splash/montage/recap page and we fast forward to Dack locked up in a medi-cell where he's recovering and being interrogated.
He gets a break when a hulking hospital volunteer comes in bearing candy. It's Ravage, sporting a fake beard whose origin I don't want to think too much about, given his penchant for adapting equipment from garbage.
Then comes the highlight of the issue: Four years removed from his first Marvel movie cameo, as a juror in “The Trial of the Incredible Hulk,” Stan Lee is seen in a wheelchair outside the room, asking a nurse what his chances are of being released. She tells him nobody ever leaves a medi-cell alive, making me question the nature of this facility, which is labeled as “Angel of Mercy Med Center” in an exterior shot on the next page. But, still, Stan is writing and cameoing!
Discovered by Alchemax guards, Ravage exits via a 10th story window and lands safely in the back of his garbage truck, pre-filled with mattresses.
The scene shifts to Hellrock, where Dethstryk has provided Tiana with a protective suit so she can survive the radiation that has mutated the island's residents. He also implies he's looking for some non-Mutroid companionship, which, ew.
Dethstryk warns his minions that Ravage may try to gain access to the island through an unmanned drone delivering supplies. Ravage obliges, in his own protective suit.
Ravage mows through the Mutroids while delivering one-liners like “Stop bleedin' all over the deck when I'm talkin' at ya!” But Dethstryk stops him in his tracks when he tears off Tiana's protective suit. With only her undergarments to protect her, Tiana will be transformed into a Mutroid within the hour, he warns.
Ravage frees her and they get away long enough for him to give Tiana his own suit. This leads to the funniest line of the issue, as Tiana says she can't let Ravage sacrifice himself...
Once again, the Mutroids are waiting for Ravage at the drone ship, and once again, it does them no good. With Tiana armed and fighting instead of just being a distressed damsel, they make it back onto the vessel.
But Ravage declares he's breathed too much of the polluted air and would “infect everyone on the mother ship” (???) if he went back, so, I guess it took them close to an hour to get back to the ship? Or the radiation works as fast or slow as Stan needed it to?
Either way, Ravage faces off against Dethstryk – only to run for cover when he starts to feel the effects of the radiation and the villain tells him his name reflects his power, to kill with a touch.
In a special Stan's Soapbox installment on the letters page, the Man indicates Ravage will be getting a power out of his radiation exposure, as so often happens in the Marvel Universe, past, present or future.
He also says that if readers don't enjoy the way the issue is stuffed with panels and dialogue, “no big deal. We can always just kill ourselves!” So, even the direct conversation with the reader isn't up to Stan's usual standards.
But I'll forgive him. And I'll be back one of these days with a look at issue 4.
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