Secret Defenders #14: A Rock and a H'aarg Place

Secret Defenders #14
“Escape”
Writer: Ron Marz
Penciler: Tom Grindberg
Inker: Don Hudson
Letters: John Costanza
Colors: John Kalisz
Editor: Mike Rockwitz
Group Editor: Ralph Macchio
The Pope: Tom DeFalco
Released: Feb. 8, 1994

Once again referred to right there in the narration as Thanos' “Secret Defenders,” Super-Skrull, Rhino, Titanium Man, Geatar and an unconscious Nitro are in a tight spot. I'd say something about wondering how they're going to get out of it, but the cover on the right gives you a pretty good idea – and also puts me between a rock and a hard place as far as my complaints about contemporary covers being unrelated to the story and spoilers.

We open with a splash page of the Rhino shouting “Get outta my way,” followed by a two-page splash of him carrying Nitro as the team flees the gun-toting monks. I know there have been more in-depth explorations of the Rhino's character, but I have to say he's been my favorite participant in this arc. He should be overwhelmed, but he's just punching and charging at things. As an over-thinker, I appreciate his simple approach.

As they try to find a way off the planet H'aarg after confirming Thanos indeed blew up their ship, the conscious members of the squad show a concern and camaraderie that is a bit unexpected among a group of second (or lower) tier villains.

Super-Skrull fires up his Invisible Woman powers to protect them with a force field. As he and Geatar brainstorm about how to leave the planet in one of those fields, a monk gets around behind them and blasts the Skrull. With two of their number down, Titanium Man tries to jury rig the destroyed ship's escape pod to get them off-planet. Grindberg compensates for the early splashes with a 12-panel sequence of TM doing his work and Geatar and Rhino kicking butt, then it's time for liftoff with the armored Russian providing the propulsion.

Once they leave the atmosphere, though, there isn't much power or air left. The pages go horizontal and the panels fade to black. Geatar regains consciousness to find they've been rescued by...

That's right - Dr. Bong.

No, of course it's the Silver Surfer, and he's accompanied by Legacy, aka Genis-Vell, the son of the original Captain Marvel, who would go on to star in a terrific series written by Peter David and a current-year limited series also written by Peter David.

Geatar is none to grateful given his past friction with the Surfer. But the Surfer's cooler head prevails, and Geatar eventually surrenders to Legacy to be taken back to lockup on Titan with his captain, Nebula.

Surfer heals Super-Skrull and Nitro, who puts two and two together about who Legacy's dad was. Legacy doesn't appear to realize the role Nitro had in his father's death, which is probably why the exploding weak link feels so overconfident in creepily shaking his hand. Apparently oblivious to the previous two issues, Nitro decides to go traveling in space in the repaired escape pod, while the Surfer ferries Rhino and Titanium Man back to Earth.

I can tell from the cover of the next issue the title will be going in another new direction. These three issues were a bit offbeat, even for this series, but it was an interesting story that probably couldn't have been told anywhere else (maybe “Marvel Comics Presents?”). I wouldn't be opposed to more stories with this lineup*, but there's really no in-story reason for them to keep hanging out.

We don't get any follow-up with Thanos and the Oracle of Ancient MacGuffins, whose only other appearance the Marvel Fandom wiki lists as “Cosmic Powers” #1 – also by Marz – which came out a couple weeks before the last issue. But I'm personally more interested in the cannon fodder he left behind. Marz made me care about them** over the last three issues, particularly as the noose tightened in this one.

While part of me would have liked a little more action, I appreciated the way the Surfer avoided conflict instead of pounding the villains into the ground, as he easily could have.

I think I've finally worked out my “Why-is-this-a-Secret-Defenders-story” frustrations. It's a title where odd assortments of characters team up, with or without Doctor Strange (without henceforth, judging from the next issue's cover and Rockwitz's statement on the mid-issue letters page that Strange is “out the door”).

Speaking of the letters page, it again lacks pitches for team lineups. So in honor of our departing cast, I'll offer a Suggested Secret Defenders of the Week with some of my favorite B- and C-list villains of the era. Let's try Blob, Enchantress (maybe she's A-minus-list), Madcap and Ruby Thursday, assembled by Mojo for a new show on his network.

* - Minus Nitro. That dude's the worst.

** - Except for Nitro. See above.