NFL SuperPro #5: Mercy Ruled

NFL SuperPro #5
“Sudden Death”
Writer: Buzz Dixon
Breakdowns: Jose Delbo
Finishes: Mike DeCarlo
Letterer: Janice Chiang
Colorist: Evelyn Stein
Cover: Delbo and Joe Sinnott
Editors: Dave Wohl, Bob Budiansky
Editor-in-Chief: Tom DeFalco
Published by: Marvel
Released: Dec. 3, 1991

The first issue of Buzz Dixon's tenure on NFL SuperPro begins with the shocking title of “Sudden Death.” The words themselves aren't shocking, but the fact that a comic heavily relying on football-related phrases waited until the fifth issue to grab this low-hanging fruit speaks to a measure of restraint on behalf of previous writer Fabian Nicieza and company. I probably would have used it on the first issue, regardless of whether it fit the story or not.

The title is applied to a full page showing promised guest star Lawrence Taylor tackling unnamed quarterback Dan Marino in a game between the New York Giants and Miami Dolphins. Phil “SuperPro” Grayfield and Ken “Cameraman” Reid are covering the game from the sideline when a pair of armored hands erupt from the ground and drag Taylor under. Phil and Ken drop into the hole and follow a tunnel out to the parking lot where a trio of guys who look like high-tech, football-playing vikings from somewhere beyond Minnesota are loading LT into a van.

They decide to take out Ken, since he's got a camera and “Coach” won't like it if they leave witnesses, giving Phil the chance to slip away and don his SuperPro gear. As he takes on the big guys, he's blindsided by a fourth, masked assailant going by the codename Kubuki-Back.

The villains get away with Taylor, and the scene shifts to the apartment of Jane Dixon. Now that she knows her boyfriend is a bona fide superhero, she's able to contribute by... rubbing liniment on his sore muscles. A news report indicates Taylor was one of 21 players abducted that day, leading fill Phil to deduce the kidnappers are collecting an all-star roster of players. The only team that hasn't been targeted is the Chicago Bears, and the only position left unfilled* is quarterback.

Phil figures his old pal Ron Macedon is the target. Ron appreciates the concern but not Phil's ranking of him as the league's fourth-best quarterback, so he dumps a cooler of Gatorade on him. In what seems like a superfluous sequence, owner's assistant Mercy Sutter offers Phil a chance to clean up in a luxury suite. As they chat about the kidnappings, she mentions her father was a head coach in the league.

The conversation is cut short when the proto-vikings arrive … in a van … borne aloft by a blimp. One named Flinch blasts Macedon and the practicing Bears with electricity. As they swoop in to collect their target, Phil gets into costume and leaps on the dirigible, accidentally puncturing it with a cleat. The bad guys disconnect the van from the blimp, but SuperPro hangs on to the undercarriage as it bounces on the pavement then drives eight miles to an abandoned stadium.

Inside, 'Pro finds a coach ordering the kidnappers around as they lock up the snatched NFL players. Before he can intervene, Kabuki-Back KOs him with an exploding football. Soon, he's imprisoned as the coach introduces his team, the Head Hunters: “malcontents, rough tacklers and dirty players that were too nasty for the NFL.” He wants to take on the league's best to prove he and his players are better.

SuperPro thinks they just couldn't hack it and says as much, prompting Mercy to emerge from the shadows and tell him to stop taunting her father: Coach Buck Sutter.

Soon the lowercase pros are forced to take on the Head Hunters in a game with few rules. SuperPro manages to escape by using his chinstrap snap to loosen the bolts on his enclosure. Then he and the assembled NFL players start battling the Head Hunters hand-to-hand. 'Pro kicks away another exploding football tossed by Kabuki-Back, somehow managing to free the remaining players.

SuperPro sacks Kabuki-Back, whose mask comes off to reveal Mercy. She joined her dad's scheme because, as a woman, she never got a chance to play in the NFL. SuperPro then douses the elctricity-blasting Flinch with a bucket of water,** and Buck and Mercy escape in the ensuing chaos, pledging revenge in the rematch.

Dixon – who has even more cartoon than comic credits, including “G.I. Joe,” “Mister T,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and more – leans even more into the football-themed villainy, veering further from the dash of realism Nicieza sprinkled in. But the concept of ex-players and coaches taking super-villain-esque revenge on the league they believe unfairly cast them aside is solid enough. Specifics like the blimp, SuperPro being tough enough to survive underneath a van that fell a couple stories with only minor discomfort or Mercy turning out to be Kabuki-Back even though no one who heard her speak, multiple times, noticed she sounded like a woman caused some head-scratching though.

Personally, I wanted to see more confirmed NFL cameos, though the faint writing on the chalkboard in Jane's apartment and a Rams player wearing number 80 suggest wide receiver Henry Ellard was among the captured players. Taylor and Macedon having different jersey numbers when the players were apparently in their own gear are nit-picking details, but also ones you'd think wouldn't have been too hard to avoid.

I've joked on podcasts about how stories that were done in single issues or less in the past would be expanded to multiple issues today. But as we quickly met various Head Hunters, I couldn't help but think some more backstory would have been interesting, maybe making this a two-parter. But the SuperPro model appears to be one-and-done stories.

This issue gets a little more ridiculous than its predecessors but still has some fun elements.

* - Except kicker and punter. So I guess Chip Lohmiller was safe.

** - The Head Hunters may not play by the rules, but even they know hydration is important.