I picked this issue, after finding it and a bunch of other comics in a spectacular sale at a local comic shop, because Vartox reminds me of... my oldest daughter.
No, it's not because she has a receding hairline,* a penchant for dramatic boots or even strong admiration for the late Sir Sean Connery.
One of the things I wanted to write about when I started this blog was sharing comics and movies with my kids. But it turns out they're very protective of their brands. I have to clear every mention with them, even for social media posts, and sometimes I have to compensate them for the rights to their comments. Granted, I don't want to share too much information about them online, but sometimes the negotiations can be tough.
First, a little bit about Vartox.
He first appeared in “Superman” #281, whose cover drawn by Nick Cardy you can see at the start of this post. The issue was written by Cary Bates, with interior art by Curt Swan and Bob Oksner, and released Aug. 13, 1974.
He's basically the Superman of his planet, which doesn't get named in this issue. He's also, according to his Wikipedia page, intentionally based on Connery's character from the movie “Zardoz,” released the same year.
Unlike the Man of Steel at this point, Vartox is happily married – until his wife drops dead at the same moment a cashier in Metropolis is shot and killed by a robber. Scientists on his world determine she died because the woman on Earth was her “bionic” twin, with whom she was biologically linked across space.
This stunning bit of comic book science is topped by another as Vartox uncovers the circumstances of the Earth woman's death with his Timescanscope, boosted by his “hyper-vision.” He then sends Superman an inter-galactic-gram** to inform him he's coming to take the killer, Frank Sykes, back to his home planet to face justice. Superman objects, because Sykes has to stand trial for murder on Earth. In the ensuing battle, Lois Lane is killed by a hyper-charge that ricochets off Superman's chest.
Turns out, that was just the likely outcome projected by Vartox's hyper-power, and he does not want to see Superman's love killed. So instead, he heads to Earth, where Sykes has been released from prison thanks to an undisclosed legal loophole. Going by the alias “Vart,” Vartox uses his various powers to trick Sykes into thinking he has powers and stealing a jewel that came from Vart's homeworld. All Sykes has to do to collect a reward worth millions of dollars is accompany him back to his home planet.
Superman has been keeping tabs on Sykes and almost blows the whole thing. But one teleport-beam mishap later and they're back on Vartox's planet, where Sykes is sentenced to 60 years... of his life being shortened. Superman, agreeing that Vartox broke no laws since Sykes willingly went to his planet,*** flies the suddenly 90-year-old killer back home.
I'd like to say I enjoyed the craziness of this issue, but it was a bit much for me. The high concept – that an intergalactic hero wants to bring his wife's killer to justice but runs afoul of Earth law – is a good one. But the execution doesn't strike me in the same way many of Bob Haney's equally crazy and deliriously fun “Brave and the Bold” Batman stories do. Vartox seems to have whatever powers he needs in that particular panel, which frankly isn't that big a leap from what I've seen in other stories with Superman or Batman's utility belt.
Still, I can understand why Vartox is a cult favorite. And if you want to learn even more about his pre-Crisis exploits, I recommend the coverage by Chris is on Infinite Earths.
I believe I first met Vartox in some New 52-era backup features where he was … a sports reporter on Channel 52, part of a news crew that included anchor Bethany Snow and fellow reporters Ambush Bug and Calendar Man.
He was wearing Earth clothes, not Connery's wardrobe, though who knows how they dressed back home?
My daughter enters the story when, at 5 years old, she watched the episode with me. I had already seen it and didn't think it would be too intense for her, not even the final showdown where Supergirl overheats Vartox's ax and causes it to explode.
Yes, Vartox died. Rewatching it prior to writing this, I realized Vartox chose to off himself with a fragment of his ax rather than be taken into custody. I must have had her look away from that. The focus for me – and I assumed, her – was Supergirl won. Yay, girl power.
But then she asked me what happened to Vartox. And, in a moment that won't make my parenting highlight reel, I told her something to the effect of, “Well, honey, he died.”
She burst into tears.
I was scrambling. I told her a) it wasn't real and b) I didn't even understand why he died, because, as someone who could go toe-to-toe with a yellow-sun-charged Kryptonian, that wound shouldn't have been fatal, although alien anatomy can be confusing. Maybe they just wanted to tie up that story quickly or didn't want to make it too gruesome. Of course, if they had, then I wouldn't have shown it to her in the first place. So I think we can all agree it was the writers/producers' fault, right?
Although I felt bad for upsetting her, a part of me was proud she was so empathetic. I had tried at various points to tell her about grace and mercy and how we shouldn't celebrate when bad things happen to other people, even if it's someone who has been unkind or is a straight-up villain.
Village jerk Gaston meets a bad end in both versions, whipping the townsfolk into a Beast-killing frenzy and plunging to his doom in the burning castle. And my sweet, sensitive little girl saw that happen and … cheered.
They grow up so fast.
* - Or is it a high forehead?
** - Not my jokey name; that's what they called it in the issue.
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